So if you are lucky, you have a group of girls that you laugh, cry, love and live with. They are your best friends. They get you like no one else does and know too much for you to let them go. But even with these special group of girls, one can't help to fib now and then. Here are the little and big lies, we ALL tell now and again:
1. You look AMAZING!!!
What you have on might not be OUR cup-of-tea but why knock your confidence by criticizing your wardrobe choices. Clearly you liked what you were wearing if you walked out of the house in it - assuming we know you have a mirror you looked in first. So if you are good with it, we are too. Now if you are getting ready for a date and you ask our opinion on your muffin-top jeans and hooker-looking halter top, as a self-respecting bestie, we have NO CHOICE but to say something. But if you look good and we can see you need a confidence booster, a few compliments never hurt anybody.
2. My man and I are doing GREAT!
Sometimes we just don’t want to talk about our problems, ok?! Yes we know you are here for us, and we know we can trust you, but we also don’t want to deal with you hating on our man for the next 5 months because he went for his boy’s bachelor party on the night of our 6-month anniversary. YES, he screwed up, but we have a feeling we’re going to get over it A LOT quicker than you are. Plus who doesn’t want their bestie to like their man? So forgive us for giving you the rosy version of events sometimes.
3. I just CAN’T go out! I have cramps/headache/any believable illness.
Women are masters of lying. And we do it so often and SO WELL that we don’t even notice we’re doing it. It’s a gift, really. We are also super sensitive for the most random reasons. So if we know you’re going to take it personally that we would rather stay home and watch Grey’s Anatomy than have another girl’s night out, today just might be the day we come down with a super bad case of food poisoning. And NO please don’t come and check on us. You go ahead and have an AWESOME night. Jackson baby, here I come.
4. I’m SORRY you guys broke up!
NOOOO WE’RE NOT!!!!!!!! Praise God, he has heard our prayers and freed you of that toxic (insert expletive here). The thing about your closest girlfriends is that we tend to see the demise of your relationship before you do. More so, we tend to see YOUR slow destruction before you do. And it’s not your fault. We know you have your love goggles on. Love is super blinding. We get it. So yes, we will hold you as you cry and buy you ice cream and tell you how sorry we are, but please know that we are ONLY sorry that you are hurting. That (insert expletive again) can (expletive) off.
5. I’m here for you. WHATEVER you need.
In theory that’s true. On a mental level, we are THERE for you. And if it’s a desperate situation, you better believe we will drop WHATEVER we are doing to be there. But if you want us to come stalk your crush on the same day as a really important business meeting, or if you want us to lend you some cash to buy yet ANOTHER pair of designer shoes we KNOW you aren’t going to wear, you just might have to call you’re number 2 bestie. Because WE AREN’T AVAILABLE. We still love you though.
If there are any other lies you always find yourself telling your best girlfriends, share in the comment section.
Until Next Time,
The Honest (please don’t kill me) Bestie